Thursday, September 23, 2010

go get it.

My meeting yesterday was a success.

It is a wonderful feeling to know that wherein your life has led you,
there is purpose.

The principal who I met with yesterday,
wants to implement the program.
His being on board with the cause--
{bully prevention}
instills in me confirmation
and confidence.

To know that I can give on a community level
instills a reward
that is priceless.

When I injured my back five months ago,
my plans to run the Portland Marathon
were tossed out.
At first, it was only an annoyance,
I figured my back would heal in under a week,
and that I'd hit the pavement again.
But it wasn't that easy.
Each time I thought I'd had adequate rest,
and the strains had healed,
I'd go out to run
and find my back pulling and straining again.
I paid visits to my chiropractor regularly,
and
underwent serious therapeutic massage.
When I say therapeutic, I mean
fist-clenching pain.

During this time, I was also doing quite a bit of writing.
My mission was to put the painful past onto the page;
to write it out;
to have it written in effort to sort, to understand,
and to heal;
to help others heal.

Then my back issues flared up.

How do you focus in two drastically different areas
when each feels like it requires
WHOLE HEART?

 I recall being in the shower one day,
when I thought,
I wonder why I haven't thought to pray about my back issues?
I am the praying type, so for a moment, this boggled my mind.
My mind moved along to my next thought,
tucked far behind the obligations, stresses, and daily redundance that consumes--
because you know there is a lesson in this back pain.

Then the following dawned on me--
You can't run two marathons at once.

I am not capable of writing a book proposal,
advocating for the broken,
running a marathon,
let alone a household,
while raising two toddlers.

My life is not meant to happen this way.
I am a passionate woman, but passion can only
be spread so thin before it moves into insanity.

It took some time--a few more runs that threw my back into further strain,
before I really began to let up.
The lessons I'm learning aren't only
FOCUS,
but
DISCIPLINE
OBEDIENCE
and
FAITH--
faith that when something is off--
when you are moving against the grain
in one way, shape or form--
there is a lesson which needs acknowledgement
or greater attention.

Next month is the Portland Marathon.
A smidge of envy may fall upon me as I rise that morning
of 10/10/10,
but then I'll consider my current whereabouts,
and think of the steps that I've made toward my advocacy
and see that they are big steps--
steps that I wouldn't have made
had I been researching gels, sweat-wicking clothes and
speed strategies.
Then I'll consider the future,
and the reality that the Portland Marathon isn't going anywhere,
that it will return again in 2011,
and quite possibly,
I'll be able to give her a shot.

Until then,
the focus and the discipline is paying off--
in the most magnificent way.

"You Got a Dream... You Gotta Protect It. People Can't Do Somethin' Themselves, They Wanna Tell You You Can't Do It. If You Want Somethin', Go Get It." ~ Chris Gardner

(The Pursuit of Happiness)

12 comments:

Katharine September 24, 2010 at 4:40 AM  

What a great post! Blessings on your day!

wilybrunette September 24, 2010 at 11:08 AM  

this post is perfection. you're so right, we can't run two marathons at once. we can't stand in two different spheres fully. thank you for the gorgeous reminder and congrats on the fantastic meeting!

Shaleign Mabry September 24, 2010 at 1:36 PM  

I enjoyed reading this post for a few reasons.

One is that being able to see our goals and the hurdelers that are between us and them.

Second is that FAITH and Prayer. It's funny because we both were not that strong (I believe) in the church we were raised but that faith in praying is there. I know it really helped me when I sat down with my hubs aunt and her friend after my accident and prayed for my healing and the images to be erased from Carter's thought so it could help me and him move past it. He does not talk about it anymore.

I pray for your healing so that you may move forward with all goals and wish you luck with the helping of kids with their bullies.

resolute twig September 24, 2010 at 5:04 PM  

I am so glad you have arrived at where you are. :)

You are amazing!

Erin September 24, 2010 at 6:50 PM  

Wise words Cassie. Thank you for sharing your heart! What amazing things are taking place in your life! What a purpose! I am so happy to witness your journey!

emmy d September 26, 2010 at 1:37 PM  

I needed to read this post right now I think! I too tend to take on too many things and end up resenting the time they take instead of focusing on less and enjoying the journey. Your words stick with me. Thank you!

~Emily

Keri September 26, 2010 at 7:43 PM  

Wow Cassie, I'm so proud of you! You are courageous and bold, and are going to affect so many young lives. Good for you!! And yes, the Portland Marathon isn't going anywhere. The St. George Marathon is next weekend and I didn't get in the lottery, so I'm trying to be happy for my friends that get to run it. Thanks for the reminder...there are many more years for us yet. :)

李蓉仲 September 26, 2010 at 11:47 PM  

IS VERY GOOD..............................

Cassie September 27, 2010 at 8:21 AM  

Katherine & Meg- thank you. It is so great to share the things I learn here and to receive feedback.

Shaleign-Prayer is HUGE! How great that it was able to help you and your son after your accident. I know it's the glue that keeps me together...

Resolute Twig - thank you, thank you! You are very kind.

Erin-YOU are a wise woman. I always love to hear your voice here. Thanks for all your kind comments and the encouragement!

Cassie September 27, 2010 at 8:32 AM  

Emmy D- blogosphere is an amazing place. It is so wonderful that by just a click, you can land yourself in someone else experience, taking away something for yourself. I know it happens to me all the time, and I am so happy you were able to take something for yourself from this post. Have a great week!

Cassie September 27, 2010 at 9:08 AM  

Keri- thanks for the encouragement! I'm looking forward to the future for sure, and yes, those other marathons aren't going anywhere. Isn't it nice that you can sign up for a challenge?

a little bit biased September 29, 2010 at 7:10 AM  

Great post Cassie! You're always so insiteful. It's fun to read about your journey and the lessons you learn along the way. We can all learn from those lessons too. Have a great day sis!

“You must write every single day of your life... You must lurk in libraries and climb the stacks like ladders to sniff books like perfumes and wear books like hats upon your crazy heads... may you be in love every day for the next 20,000 days. And out of that love, remake a world.” ― Ray Bradbury
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